So my stomach is churning and turning and generally making me feel odd all over - what is it????? Surely this CANNOT be all over some silly boy!!! Yes, readers, I am afraid that it is. Just got another couple of SMS's from Himself - and instantly my anguish returns.

I have been having weird dreams of late - well realistically, when are dreams ever NOT weird. Last night I had one featuring my ex-husband and phones. It appears that in my dream I was intrigued in finding the mobile phone tower in some small town (the ex. used to be telecommunications), and then discovered that my mobile phone had been stolen, but replaced with another one that I did not know how to use. (For the detail freaks, my Nokia was stolen and replaced with a Siemens - go figure that one out).

I am on my way out for drinks with a girlfriend (and some friends of hers). I would like to feel a little more excited that I do, but I suppose my mind is occupied (foolishly) on Himself, and thinking about what there will be there that I cannot both eat and/or drink. Diet day No 6 nearly completed and going well, gym first thing this morning (this MUST mean I am serious - I leave bed for NOTHING!). We will see how happy I am tomorrow after a weigh-in tomorrow!

So the SMS's have continued a bit more - what the hell does it all mean? Probably not a lot. I have started working on my resolutions for the new year - although I find the concept of New Year's a bit redundant. Firstly, if I want to make a life-changing decision, it can be any day that I choose. Secondly, if I want to got out, get drunk and act inappropriately, why should I limit it to the same day as everyone else? Anyway, joined the gym, started a diet, and made a dentist appointment. Look out - I may be getting more fabulous!

There may be something in this?

What Classic Movie Are You?

How does one arrive at a point in their life and not be quite sure how it happened? This was not supposed to be the way life was meant to be was it? One is tempted to often ask.... is this it? I was not meant to be single and in my thirties. I was meant to be happily married with a wonderful brood, whilst being successful at something (which I was meant to want to do since conception!). How did it all go so terribly ordinary? Am I the only person that aches for feeling so god-damn unimportant. Am I the only person that wonders what is the soundtrack to my life meant to be..... every movie has a theme song and music - where is mine? When is the swell of the orchestra going to kick in?

Maybe there are just too many questions today......

So what is the issue of the day today for me.... well it seems to be the stupidity of myself and the damned SMS's that plague the mind (but not the phone apparently!). I will elaborate. I have recently been the recipient of an SMS from a gentleman that I think is quite lovely. This SMS could easily have been interpreted as little more than idle chat and a friendly gesture. But, no, in my mind, and ever-aching heart, it has become the missives of a yearning love. The SMS's have been thrown back and 'fro - but still I wonder, what do they mean. I have a firm belief that men say exactly what they mean. No more, and no less. So when rational thought is so clear on the matter, why do I still pain myself with these thoughts of "what does this mean?"? Women are so irrational and emotional (I suppose that is why we are so delightful as well). I need clarity - or maybe just a good lie down.