Sinking dread.... and then a reprieve!

This evening I attempted a blind date. Such things, sadly, are not foreign to me these days. This particular gentleman, as are most of the men that I meet these days, was from the Internet. He had no photo on his on-line profile, which I berated him for throughout our on-line conversation. Despite this reticence to show himself on-line, he appeared eager to meet face to face.

He arranged the time and place for us to meet. I duly arrived, ten minutes early, to settle with a glass of wine and to survey the lay of the land – if you will. Whilst sitting there I must admit to feelings of ambivalence at best, utter apathy at worst. Every time I saw a gentleman walk up the street by himself, I assessed quickly whether he was the potential beau for the evening. I found myself dreading the moment.

Thankfully, he never turned up.

So I can surmise one of three scenarios.
1. He forgot. In this case, if he forgets a date within hours of making the arrangement, the long-term success of him remembering anniversaries/birthdays/children’s names is not looking good.
2. He changed his mind. Not a crime against humanity, especially considering my mixed emotions about the whole meeting anyway. But considering he had my phone number – a polite call even to give some lame excuse would be most acceptable.
3. He did turn up, saw me, and then changed his mind. Again, not a crime – but requires the same courtesy as mention in (2).

Any other scenarios, such as massive head-on collision where he is rendered incapable of making a phone call, by virtue of both arms being ripp

ed off, or alien abduction, are also certainly allowable, but not considered at this point.

So really, what annoys me most was not the waste of money (parking, petrol, glass of very ordinary wine)or the meagre embarrassment of being stood up, but what annoyed me was the sheer waste of time. I would much rather have been home doing the ironing.

Is it a penis thing?

I bought a Fit Ball this morning. Not for any great fitness purpose, but I hypothesized that I could use my hours in front of the computer to tone something other than my fingers.

Embarrasingly, I have been unable to work out how to pump it up. A slew of university qualifications to my name, and I can't pump a damn piece of fitness equipment. I think all the various attachments are putting me off - it definitely requires a penis to work it out.

If I press this button... what does it do?

As has been pointed out by Absum, it has now been over two weeks since my last entry. My excuse is simple, the damned PC of mine was riddled with viruses since acquiring ADSL. So it has been rebuilt (new motherboard), new firewall and other accessories, got a USB memory stick for backup, new power supply, and updated virus scanning. Many hundreds of dollars later - I am now online again. In addition, it appears that a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing. I apparently set my firewall so effectively that I could not get out to actually use the internet. A quick uninstall and re-install later, I was again functioning. (This time, albeit without the mouse....but still).

As expected, life is its usual topsy-turvy journey full of adventure - some of which I shall probably vent here over time. But not today.

One of the regular blogs I read, due to a combination of his wit and pure regularity of entries, is Lawyer Guy. He recently posted an entry which made me smile. It involves posting sentences from a nearby book. Taking text out of context is often amusing. The rules are:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

So the book I am reading at the moment is The Noodle Maker by Ma Jian. So that is the nearest book I have at hand........ and the sentences are;

'Why not put an end to it now? You'll have to go sooner or later, so you might as well get it over with. Ha!

When Lawyer Guy did this exercise, he found that it provided no insight into his life. I fear, that my version, is a little more ominous!

Thoughts anyone?

No! I am not barefoot, and certainly not...

In the past 24 hours I have had two conversations with two different people, both of which have disheartened me somewhat.

The first was last night at my choir rehearsal - my first for this year. I was patiently waiting in line to receive my copy of the score. One of my fellow choristers sidled up and began looking me intently. Or more specifically looking at my torso intently. She then leaned in and asked if I was "expecting". I didn't quite know what to say - but a polite "No" was all I could muster until I recovered my sensibilities. If anything was to reconfirm my newly instigated diet - surely this was the clincher!

The second conversation was this afternoon with a woman that I work with. Quite a while ago she attempted to set me up with her brother - which proved a dismal failure. She approached me this afternoon enquiring as to "what I want out of life". I mumbled something about wanting "it all". A sense of calm overtook her, and then she began to tell me about a gentleman she would like to introduce me to. She wanted to ensure that I wanted to "settle down", because this gentleman wants a "homely woman"!

Now when I hear the description "homely", I think of unattractive, dull and fat. Harsh perhaps, but nevertheless that is the imagery that comes to mind. So I think I may be in need of a revamp of the image, if the current image I am presenting is pregnant and homely! Bugger Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - can someone please give this Straight Girl some help!

If a tree falls....

I have just had a birthday. Try as I might to not want to acknowledge them (advice given by Absum), I fear I must always give a passing nod to the renewing of another year of existence.

As opposed to New Year's, I do tend to use birthdays to take stock of my life and make resolutions for the coming year. This year, I would like to
(and in no particular preference or order):
- buy a property
- clear my credit card debt (did I mention realism in any of these?)
- investigate ovarian tissue freezing and begin the required drugs if able
- undertake and pass exams in music/singing
- see more movies
- read some great works of fiction and not just commercial pap
- get a fabulous relationship (hmm, tried this one last year... but can't beat a girl for trying)

So how did I celebrate my birthday? Well, not very well I have to say. Most of my friends were either otherwise occupied with prior plans or just plain forgot. Although I have to congratulate one girlfriend on remembering and not only sending a gift from interstate, but calling as well. Her only downfall is that she thought that I was a year older than I am! My birthday evening saw me at home, cooking dinner from whatever was available in the freezer and dismissing the advances of a recent date (#1).

It then begs the question, if one fails to properly acknowledge a birthday - could one pretend it didn't happen?

There is a reason why noone is on the streets in small towns....

In days gone by every small town/suburb could be guaranteed of possessing a few things. There was always a post office, which may even double as the local newsagent and corner store. There would definitely be a pub - or generally more than one pub. And the final guaranteed addition in any place worth its merit was the ubiquitous Chinese Restaurant. God bless the members of that plucky nation to bring their cuisine, or some bastardised version of it, to every corner of the world. But I have recently noticed a new addition to township of the 21st century. It appears that everywhere I go there always seems to be an "adult shop". It appears we are now a nation that is proud of its dildo selection and lubricant choices! Puts a whole new light on "rooting*" for your country!

*for foreigners.... rooting in Australia refers to fornication, as opposed to supporting your team!

Marriage Offer #1 for 2005

I have been using the internet for quite a while now as a means of meeting gentleman. Its measure of success could be considered dubious in my own circumstances, but considering the few men that I meet in my daily routine; it seemed as good a path as any for seeking out a future partner.

One of the curious consequences is discovering what 'type' of man finds me attractive and interesting. I have a 'type' that I prefer, which strangely enough is nothing like then men with whom I have had significant relationships. Hmm why is that? (For reference: blonde hair/blue eyes = Melt, brown eyes/dark hair = boyfriend.)

In the past the men I could rely upon to seek me out were the uneducated, middle-aged bikes, with requisite handle-bar moustache, from the far eastern suburbs. Try as I might, there is little about these gentleman than is desirable for me. More recently another type of gentleman is becoming more prevalent in my romantic "Inbox".

The newcomer to my Inbox is a plethora of Indian men. Ostensibly nothing wrong with them, I am sure, but just not my type. (For that matter, Greek and Italian men can usually be counted out as well). As with any internet approach (i.e. virtual kisses, smiles and the like) the simplest solution, when one clearly senses no attraction, is either a polite decline for further contact, or alternatively, blatant disregard.

Three days ago, whilst going through the latest romantic notifications of interest from hopeful beaus, I received a surprise. I was made my first marriage offer for the year. His email began, "In response to your profile, I hereby furnish my profile as under regarding matrimonial alliance." Having suitably secured my interest, I couldn't help but read on. His age was generic ("40+"), which was in stark contrast to the detailed and itemised education and current wages. He also included details of his family and their marital status and employment history. Indeed, his list of qualities could just as easily have been a Curriculum Vitae!

The effort that this gentleman is applying to find a wife is certainly a far cry from my last marriage proprosal. The circumstantial details are a little hazy, but I do remember reposing in bed one evening, when N asked if I would like to "get hitched". With such a romantic and thoughtful proposal, one wonders how I ever declined!

But as to the matter at hand: will I regret not responding to this gentleman's generous offer? Hmmm. I am sure I can live with the pain.