In my humble professional opinion...
Even after working for the number of years I have, I still find it hard to believe that people might seek out my opinion on things. When my boss has rung to canvass my thoughts on something, I often think that he has dialled the wrong number, or got really deperate.
So again, imagine my surprise when I was recently approached by a member of staff for my opinion on a study she is about to undertake. Well actually, not an opinion on the whole study, but actually, just an opinion on the title of the study. I thought, wow, I wonder what it involves that she seeks my opinion on this sort of thing.
And then she told me the title.
"Oral methods for fixing the position of the prostate"
Yes, really. She was asking if it sounded a little "wrong". So, no professional opinion required, just my smut opinion.
And I told her to change it - unless she really wants a lot of attention......
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
One small garment to a man. One near orgasm for womankind.
I may have mentioned it before, but I have been on a diet. And it has been successful - thanks for asking. In fact, I have lost about 15% of my body weight since starting. And strangely enough, some of it has even come off my breasts.
Now I am a well endowed woman, so bra-shopping is always fraught with fear and frustration. There are pitifully few bras that are both pretty and functional for the, ahem, larger bust. Fewer still that are at a reasonable cost. I came to the realisation that I seriously needed to buy some new bras, and whilst it is sale time, it could be an opportune time to look. Subtle and I were out shopping when I decided to look. Ok, I was shopping, Subtle was being a really good boyfriend. When it came time for me to head to the lingerie section, I asked him if he had any preferences for colour or style. His only comment? "Will they come off?". Ok, so he is easily pleased. He begged off and left me to my own devices.
Buying bras without the assistance of sales staff, or a runner, means that everytime one doesn't fit, I have to redress and dash around the floor collecting new sizes and styles. This may have happened a few times since not only did I not know what size I was, I was different sizes in every bra I tried on.
Finally I was proud to have a delightful collection of some practical, but also some VERY pretty bras. One bra was particularly comfortable and on sale and all bunches of happy boobs resulted in its wear. So happy am I and my mammaries with this item, I subsequently rang other stores in this state looking for more of the same. A reconnaissance mission was started to purchase every last remaining bra in my size. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to enlist Subtle to pick one up for me. Apparently, he feels somewhat sheepish, and a little pervy going into the lingerie section. For someone who likes to perve on women.... he is surprisingly coy. But pick it up he did - and I was most grateful, and he didn't even complain too much.
But apparently I went over the edge in eliciting the help of my parents who live interstate in acquiring more of this joy-making brassiere. I rang a store, paid for the items and got my parents to go and get them for me. Subtle, I believe, was more than a little perplexed. He sees only a foundation garment. I see true happiness in supported and caressed breasts.
All day, every day.
No extremes are too great in the search of the perfect bra.
I may have mentioned it before, but I have been on a diet. And it has been successful - thanks for asking. In fact, I have lost about 15% of my body weight since starting. And strangely enough, some of it has even come off my breasts.
Now I am a well endowed woman, so bra-shopping is always fraught with fear and frustration. There are pitifully few bras that are both pretty and functional for the, ahem, larger bust. Fewer still that are at a reasonable cost. I came to the realisation that I seriously needed to buy some new bras, and whilst it is sale time, it could be an opportune time to look. Subtle and I were out shopping when I decided to look. Ok, I was shopping, Subtle was being a really good boyfriend. When it came time for me to head to the lingerie section, I asked him if he had any preferences for colour or style. His only comment? "Will they come off?". Ok, so he is easily pleased. He begged off and left me to my own devices.
Buying bras without the assistance of sales staff, or a runner, means that everytime one doesn't fit, I have to redress and dash around the floor collecting new sizes and styles. This may have happened a few times since not only did I not know what size I was, I was different sizes in every bra I tried on.
Finally I was proud to have a delightful collection of some practical, but also some VERY pretty bras. One bra was particularly comfortable and on sale and all bunches of happy boobs resulted in its wear. So happy am I and my mammaries with this item, I subsequently rang other stores in this state looking for more of the same. A reconnaissance mission was started to purchase every last remaining bra in my size. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have to enlist Subtle to pick one up for me. Apparently, he feels somewhat sheepish, and a little pervy going into the lingerie section. For someone who likes to perve on women.... he is surprisingly coy. But pick it up he did - and I was most grateful, and he didn't even complain too much.
But apparently I went over the edge in eliciting the help of my parents who live interstate in acquiring more of this joy-making brassiere. I rang a store, paid for the items and got my parents to go and get them for me. Subtle, I believe, was more than a little perplexed. He sees only a foundation garment. I see true happiness in supported and caressed breasts.
All day, every day.
No extremes are too great in the search of the perfect bra.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Lost and Found
I don't lose things. Not regularly anyway. Ok, sometimes I might lose my head. And I rarely lose my temper. Years ago I believe I lost my mind. When I was about 11 I lost a recorder (as in the instrument), and I still obsess about where it might be. I lost a brush in a back-packers in Florence in 2000, and it still annoys me. But, really, as a general rule, I don't lose things.
But then along came Subtle. And with him, the return of my sex life (hello dear friend, it has been so long.....). One shouldn't expect the first time with someone to be a romantic and orgasmic experience. Hell, you don't know each other's bodies yet, so there is stuff to find out, and explore. You might fumble and laugh. Frankly, I think that that makes it all the more fun. I expect a certain amount of clumsiness in maneuvering and logistics, especially when one accounts for excitement, anticipation, anxiety and extreme horniness.
What I didn't expect was to lose something. Something small, round and rubber. Something sort of important. And I can tell you what a kill-joy that discovery was. We looked high and low. We looked suspiciously at Isabella - had she run off with it? Did our heated passion make it spontaneously combust?
Thankfully, it finally appeared*. Possibly at an inopportune time. But, I can tell you, it was worth celebrating.
* And no, I am not going into gory details of where it was. You can work it out. None of us needs that image in our heads..... oh shit, image is now there anyway.
I don't lose things. Not regularly anyway. Ok, sometimes I might lose my head. And I rarely lose my temper. Years ago I believe I lost my mind. When I was about 11 I lost a recorder (as in the instrument), and I still obsess about where it might be. I lost a brush in a back-packers in Florence in 2000, and it still annoys me. But, really, as a general rule, I don't lose things.
But then along came Subtle. And with him, the return of my sex life (hello dear friend, it has been so long.....). One shouldn't expect the first time with someone to be a romantic and orgasmic experience. Hell, you don't know each other's bodies yet, so there is stuff to find out, and explore. You might fumble and laugh. Frankly, I think that that makes it all the more fun. I expect a certain amount of clumsiness in maneuvering and logistics, especially when one accounts for excitement, anticipation, anxiety and extreme horniness.
What I didn't expect was to lose something. Something small, round and rubber. Something sort of important. And I can tell you what a kill-joy that discovery was. We looked high and low. We looked suspiciously at Isabella - had she run off with it? Did our heated passion make it spontaneously combust?
Thankfully, it finally appeared*. Possibly at an inopportune time. But, I can tell you, it was worth celebrating.
* And no, I am not going into gory details of where it was. You can work it out. None of us needs that image in our heads..... oh shit, image is now there anyway.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Things
So now that I have a boyfriend, the tasks, and criticisms begin.
The criticisms have come in the form of comments like, "Oh, you will be so boring now that we can't live our lovelives vicariously through you.". I think the only response to that one is 'Bite Me'. Although, I believe there are still stories lurking in the past that have yet to show up on here, so there maybe some vicariously living still to be done. Of course, now dating someone who is not only, lovely, but is a fellow blogger, and in fact met me through this blog, means that my fodder for writing about our relationship is probably off-limits for now. Subtle did say to me only today, "You aren't going to edit what you write now are you?". And no, I don't want to edit, but I think discretion and respect is the order of the day. Of course, until he does something really hysterical or stupid which needs to be reported! There is also the fact that now when he writes anything on his blog, my friends/readers will start reading it, and perhaps get a different viewpoint on me and my life. Yikes!
Anyway, the tasks that have begun are quite tedious. They involve the emails and phone calls to all the dating agencies and sites that I have employed over the years. Putting dating agencies on hold, and cancelling email-outs from speed dating companies, deleting/hiding profiles on online groups and extracting oneself from Facebook Singles Groups..... I didn't really appreciate how many ways in which I had been looking for relationships. Although places like RedHotPie and Adultmatchmaker probably don't really count as "relationship" sites. But, one tries anything when your options seem slim.
The other interesting thing with dating someone who has been a friend for a little while, but also has been reading every detail of your life for a number of years is that I have no stories to tell. Every time I try to tell him about something, I am told afterwards "Yes, dear, I know. I remember reading it." Hmmmm. But at least in knowing much of the worst there is to know about me, he still likes me regardless! Now that is a bonus.
So now that I have a
The criticisms have come in the form of comments like, "Oh, you will be so boring now that we can't live our lovelives vicariously through you.". I think the only response to that one is 'Bite Me'. Although, I believe there are still stories lurking in the past that have yet to show up on here, so there maybe some vicariously living still to be done. Of course, now dating someone who is not only, lovely, but is a fellow blogger, and in fact met me through this blog, means that my fodder for writing about our relationship is probably off-limits for now. Subtle did say to me only today, "You aren't going to edit what you write now are you?". And no, I don't want to edit, but I think discretion and respect is the order of the day. Of course, until he does something really hysterical or stupid which needs to be reported! There is also the fact that now when he writes anything on his blog, my friends/readers will start reading it, and perhaps get a different viewpoint on me and my life. Yikes!
Anyway, the tasks that have begun are quite tedious. They involve the emails and phone calls to all the dating agencies and sites that I have employed over the years. Putting dating agencies on hold, and cancelling email-outs from speed dating companies, deleting/hiding profiles on online groups and extracting oneself from Facebook Singles Groups..... I didn't really appreciate how many ways in which I had been looking for relationships. Although places like RedHotPie and Adultmatchmaker probably don't really count as "relationship" sites. But, one tries anything when your options seem slim.
The other interesting thing with dating someone who has been a friend for a little while, but also has been reading every detail of your life for a number of years is that I have no stories to tell. Every time I try to tell him about something, I am told afterwards "Yes, dear, I know. I remember reading it." Hmmmm. But at least in knowing much of the worst there is to know about me, he still likes me regardless! Now that is a bonus.
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