Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My monkey and its spanking

I am in a quandary. I am searching for a word, and none feels appropriate. Tell me gentle reader, what is the best term to use for masturbation for a woman?

Masturbation. It just sounds so brutal and masculine. Other alternatives like "wank" and "jerk-off", are all so visual and indicative of the male act of self-pleasuring. Maybe it is the similar beginnings to both masturbate and masculine? Does this mean that I will be assuaged by coining a new term? Femturbation anyone? And frankly, I was never completely happy with She-Bop - maybe it is just the Cyndi Lauper association.

Of course, I suppose the question comes to mind - why the obsession with a word for, supposed, "female" masturbation? Did I mention that it has been over FIVE months since I have seen Bond? 'nuff said.


Horny Old Guy said...

I've always wondered why there weren't more slang terms for female masturbation. God knows there are enough of them for male masturbation which just happens to have been one of my favorite activities for the last 50+ years (really!). "Jill" (as opposed to "jack" off) is about the only one I can think of right now. Good luck on coming up with something!

rob said...

surely we should be debating the merits of "cunningfingus." - R

Mich said...

On "House" last week the good doctor was faced with a 6 year old girl who masturbated (her mother thought she might have epilepsy!!). House set her straight but not before ripping out some awesome lines to describe female self-pleasure. The ones I remember were, "Saying yoo hoo to your woo woo" and "Finding nemo". My one fav from a list 3RRR published many years ago was "Making the little man in the boat stand up". "Double clicking the mouse" is another possibility.

Got My Goat said...

To go the fiddle and poke.

Susanne said...

Hmm. I guess there's 'double clicking your mouse' from American Pie. (Oh, someone mentioned that already)

I think we could use more female masturbation nicknames actually.