Friday, November 24, 2006

Election '06
I rarely get political, and I am still not going to, per se, but read on regardless. Tomorrow is election day for Victoria, and for me seems to be a slim choice between two candidates of little promise.

Let me give you a quick overview of the main players.

The incumbent:

A man whose hair looks strikingly fake, but sadly, is real. I also find his tone of voice somewhat less than comforting, and resembling some sort of Muppet.

His competition:

Although this photo is standard cabinet issue, other photos during his campaign have featured him in a pair of clinging, wet speedos. A look that many, thankfully, have passed over.

So, leaving my personal political leanings out of the debate for the moment, I have decided upon a partial strategy in handling my voting trials tomorrow. The first criteria for voting on the day will be decided by the presence, at my nearest voting poll, of a well-stocked sausage sizzle. If no sizzle is present, with sausages a-plenty, I fear I may be a donkey vote this year. If there is a delicious array of faux-meat, a la sausage, present, I am then left to other methods of deciding on my voting intention.

Firstly, there is the option of "Whoever has the hottest person handing out "How to Vote" cards. This is always a good standby criteria. Rob has been known to use this method for purchasing white goods and gyms. The next option is to decide simply who is nicest to me when handing out the "How to Vote" cards. A little lame, I grant you, but has possibilities. The final option is to vote for the people who leave me alone and don't inundate me with crappy bits of paper!

A notable allowance to the sausage sizzle rule, is the presence of Nana's selling home made cakes. So basically, I am willing to be bribed for my vote this year. For all of you who take elections and politics seriously, I ask you to consider the merits of the sausage method for those of us tired of the political process in Australia.

1 comment:

kiki said...

a change is as good as a holiday, so you may as well vote liberal... ha!