Chinese, or should I say, Italian Whispers

Over a luke-warm and indifferent cup of coffee I was today recounted the story of a friend's grandfather and a recent outing. The gentlemen in question is in his nineties and I understand prides himself on his knowledge of all things in the new millenium - especially the culinary delights offered. Recently at a function he was presented with a plate of hors d'oeuvres, which more commonly these days means antipasto. (Funny how italian food and terminology has superceded the french in the past decade or so - but I digress). He cast his eye, albeit cataract-ridden and watery, over the condiments within his grasp. His granddaughter leaned in and advised him that it was indeed antipasto. He turned and commented, "This would be eye-talian then heh?". [note the pronunciation!] With an affirmative nod from his nearest and dearest, without hesitation he waved down the nearest waiter to make a subsequent request. Proud he was I am sure to show off his multicultural gastronomic knowledge as he asked the garcon, "Well, I will have some of that fellatio bread as well thanks." Err, I think you mean foccacia - but heck - I love the bakers in his part of town if that is what he is being offered for his repast these days.