Well if it works for you....

I find that sexual fantasies are an intrinsically unique thing. There is often no explanation for the things that will excite someone in some small way. There are the stereotypical and generic genres that are sure to spark interest, for example, most men will find two girls together (or with the man in question for that matter) an inviting option. Women are often excited by the prospect of the man in uniform (whole strip shows RELY on that one). But, for me, it has always been butchers.

I have visitied abattoirs purely for the sexual tension that it generates within my loins. The beasts, the blood, the sharp knives and the men in white rubber boots. Oh for the rubber boot! The very thought can send me into a flurry of sensual yearning unmatched by any form of pornography yet created!

But an experience this week may have tarred this fantasy somewhat. I had to go to an operating theatre to witness the planning of a procedure related to a patient's prostate cancer treatment. This procedure involves prodding the rectum of the gentlemen in question repeatedly with an ultrasound probe. Due to the rather invasive nature of the procedure, and the homophobic fear that most men possess, the procedure is conducted under general anaesthetic. As a consequence, all the muscles of the body are rendered flaccid. I was dressed in the usual theatre garb, as is required, but the urologist stood out with the addition of his knee-high yellow rubber boots. As I turned to a colleague to enquire as to the need for his footwear, the question was answered for me by the timely bowel-emptying by the patient of the hour onto the floor and feet of said medical professional.

I fear that there is some cooling of the fetish this week. Perhaps an emergency visit to my nearest and dearest meatworker for a reminder of the happy knife-wielding days of yore.