Monday, September 06, 2004

In answer to a recent request....

R recently commented to me that there were not enough entries here devoted to discussing bodily functions. So in answer to that.... here we go.

With all the class that B exudes, you can imagine my shock when he first allowed some gas to pass through his rectum in my presence. Nothing too earth-shattering about his emittance, but just its mere occurrence was enough to remind me that he is after all human. Don't be mistaken for one moment to think that I am immune to such happenings myself. I was brought up on a healthy dose of my father approaching with a digit extended and declaring "Pull my finger!". After such training, is it no wonder that I can break wind at near Olympic standards. But so far with B, I have pursed my rectum and kept everything hush-hush. I know that as soon as I cross that line of public farting - the relationship begins to morph into something a little less cosmopolitan.

But this does bring up the other kinds of farting. Fanny farts are most embarrassing and seem to defy control (well at least any sort of control that I seem to have). And it does sort of take the gleam off that post-coital glow when one settles back in the arms of one's beloved, only to emit strange and frightening noises from beneath the covers. I have tried to ignore it, but really, that can prove difficult when there is a perceptible halt in conversation. So I say, from now on, I will celebrate my bodily expulsions! Hail the mighty Fanny Fart, the Anal Aeration and the Gust of Gullet!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's the sort blog we have been missing, thanks for the laugh