Feedback not quite fed back
For those regular followers, the date on Saturday went passably. We ended up seeing "Alfie", which really just gave me an excuse to look at Jude Law on screen for a wee while. As for the gentleman in question - no immediate sparks, but I will try and not be too overly critical after one meeting. Interestingly, following the date he and I chatted briefly on Messenger, and during this short conversation he felt the need to ask me for "feedback". I retorted that perhaps if he wanted "feedback", perhaps he should provide a questionnaire in future.
Miss Pear has had prior experience with dates wanting feedback. I thought it an interesting anecdote, but laughed off the possibility of the same occurring to me. Apparently, I laughed too soon.
If I were to be completely honest in some feedback to this gentleman, I fear that he would not see the community service that I was offering him. So in lieu of offering him the advice, that he so obviously needed, to his face - I will instead share it here for all to listen and learn from.
There are always going to be things that may annoy one person, but form nary a blip on someone else's radar. For me, talking during movies is an unforgivable sin. Despite his best intentions, to enquire after my recent poor health during the film, and the offer of a tissue "because I have a six pack on me", irked me somewhat.
I am quite old-fashioned when it comes to my dating expectations. Recently I have had to be reminded that many men revel in a woman's independence since it no longer necessarily requires them dipping their hands into their pocket. Although I think it a very convenient excuse to get out of paying for a date. Irrespective, there are definitely occasions when I feel it is appropriate to each pay for their share. And this date was one such occasion - but there are ways to phrase it. When approaching the ticket box, I was shocked to hear my date remark that I can pay for myself because he understands me being an "independent woman and all". It certainly wasn't the fact of paying for myself that caught me off guard, but his cavalier attitude with which he allowed me to pay.
The next most obvious criticism is his continued and persistent use of the word "wife". Having been on the marriage roundabout myself, I am not so naive to seek a partner that has never been formerly attached at this mature age. But any mention of his wife more often that twice in the first meeting smacks highly of not quite being over her yet. Further, feeling the need to explain and itemize their property settlement and his subsequent alimony payment schedule is certainly beyond good manners!
Finally, an hour spent in his company completely wore me out. I am known for an ability to converse above and beyond the norm. But I barely could get a word in. At one point, I gently suggested that he might want to relax. Just listening to him made me hypertensive. He insisted that he was relaxed and felt very comfortable in my company. HOLY. CRAP.
Will I see him again? The jury is out, but perhaps reaching a verdict. Happily, the next couple of weeks sees me very busy and out of the city for much of the time, thus making a second meeting impossible at this stage. So for me, perhaps a much needed dating sabbatical is just what the doctor ordered.
Interestingly, the most important facet of relating this story to friends was their consternation over what his pseudonym should be. It appears that no interesting date can go by initials alone (need I point out Tracksuit man and Shrek). So in honour of his predilection to great speed, he is to be known as Gonzalez.