Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I have always been a great list-maker. There is a certain sense of satisfaction in writing up a list of things to be done, and then crossing the items off. I have made grocery shopping lists, reading lists, things to buy lists, weekly to do lists and things to do before I die lists. Once you start, they can be quite addictive really. There is one list that I have made a little while ago, which I keep tucked in the back of my Filofax. In the spirit of affirmations and goal setting, I set out a list of the characteristics of my Ideal Partner.
The items on the list, expansive as it is, do not include any reference to height, weight, looks or other such superficialities. It is a list of traits that are desirable, perhaps even essential, idealistically, in a partner. This list is useful for culling unsuitable men and indeed, it would appear Santiago does not quite fulfill even a modest number of the items on the list.
I was discussing this list on the weekend with PSD and a friend of his over brunch and caffeine. I was reading out my meager list, and it was brought to my attention, that at only the halfway mark of my list, I seemed to have alienated at least 95% of the straight male population. And then the final 5% were ruled out when I noted that I would prefer a clean and relatively tidy partner. I really don't think that my list asks for anything particularly special. Nowhere on there does it say that he must dance like Astaire, write like Camus, woo like Casanova and earn like Trump. I believe my requirements in a partner are no less than the demands that I place upon myself.
I think that if anyone fulfilled even 75% of the things on my list, I would be predisposed to give them a fair chance. So what makes it to the list? Here is a selection of items.
(i) Financially secure and responsible, and possesses financial goals
(ii) Enjoys cultural activities such as music, opera, art, and reading (and no, the newspaper doesn't quite count)
(iii) Enjoys real conversation and is capable of delivering an articulate opinion (being able to spell is compulsory!)
(iv) Has hobbies and past-times which just don't include watching TV - enjoys undertaking these things without me - so we can both enjoy our own space
(v) Appreciates food and wine
(vi) Enjoys socialising with friends and family (a weekly piss-up does not count as socialising)
(vii) Clean and relatively tidy, plus takes some pride in his appearance
(viii) Thoughtful, open-minded, sensitive and caring.
Ok, so it probably does rule out a fair proportion of the men that I have met of late. Sad to say, I can think of a couple of people that do actually fulfill these criteria, but for various reasons are unavailable to me - the most prominent being a tendency towards being same-sex inclined.
If you know of anyone that can meet these needs - please forward all details!