"It's not like you didn't already know this...."
I was chatting with Santiago yesterday and mentioned that I am commonly referred, to by one of my closest friends, as "Scrag". He was both shocked and alarmed. I then went on to tell him about being called "Beige Ho", by another dear friend. (Hmm... do you think I was trying to bait him at this point?) I tried to explain that these were indeed affectionate terms amongst these particular persons. He found it difficult to comprehend these terms as affectionate, and further, felt confronted that these terms were being used in reference to me.
He seems to think I am a lady.
The conditions under which Santiago and I met, make his assertion that I am a lady even more laughable. Numerous weeks ago, I was invited out to dinner by a fellow from the internet, which was chronicled here. The gentleman, a term I will apply loosely to this man, profusely apologised afterwards, explaining that he was stuck in mud after four-wheel driving all day, and was unable to ring me. Despite my better judgment, I decided to give Date-Boy a second chance. So we arranged to meet at another less than sparkling eating establishment (his choice, not mine) to attempt another date. It was with no surprise that when he turned up, I was more than a little disappointed. He was exactly as I envisioned he would be - and exactly NOT my type. But not one to turn down a dinner, I decided to stay, since I had no better offer anyway.
After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, a friend of Date-Boy's happened upon us, and sat down. As you may have already guessed, Date-Boy's friend is Santiago. At that point in the evening, I knew I wanted nothing further to do with Date-Boy, and had written off any chance of securing the attention of Santiago. I then tried to apply some logic to my ensuing actions.
I decided that [straight] men involve themselves with two types of women. There are the women they date: whom they want to be nice and proper and presentable to parents. And there are the women they want to fuck.
As any woman will attest, it is much easier to decline the advances of someone purely interested in sex, than it is to nicely turn down someone who actually likes you (without feeling like a heel). So, I quickly decided to position myself as the latter category. Thus began the conversations between Date-Boy, Santiago and myself. I was asked all manner of sexual questions, which I answered honestly and without hesitation. I believe I presented myself as some sort of high-class hussy. And I felt that I would have dissuaded any attentions from Date-Boy.
Whether is worked or not, I am not completely sure. Date-Boy contacted me again, but with only a modicum of motivation to catch up with me. But apparently, I made such an impression on Santiago, that he perused the dating sites on the internet until he found me. I, of course, was nervous about what his intentions were. It would appear, that despite my vein of conversation, he was left with the impression that I was indeed a very proper lady.
Let's see if he still thinks that when he gets to know me a little better.