Tuesday, February 28, 2006

What to do? What to feel?

I got an email last night from N. I was initially excited, since I thought it might be something relevant to this weekend's upcoming party in his, and his lovely fiance's, honour. I had spent quite a while perusing suitable presents for them last weekend. I wanted something that encapsulated how happy I am for them. Something meaningful. Something appropriate. Something memorable. Admittedly, I had set myself a high aim, and was tempted more than once to get something cheesy like the "George Foreman Grill" or dull, like linen. So considering my history with N, and wanting to convey my true pleasure for his choice in future life partner, I was taken aback by an email last night asking me not to come to their engagement party.

It seems that someone forwarded this blog address to them, and his fiance was none too pleased with what she read. Clearly, a recent entry regarding the up-coming party would have piqued her interest. Despite the other 180 plus entries that exist, which have NOTHING to do with her or N, I was also told in his email to "be careful what you write". Hmmm.

So how do I feel today? Confused, upset, tired, groggy (from taking sleeping tablets to try and sleep). Should I feel bad for writing about MY life and how it affects me? Should I feel angry for someone trying to tell me what is appropriate to write about on my own blog? Not sure about any of it really. What amazes me more than anything is that N and I do not share any common friends at all. So, any friends of mine who read this blog, do not know him and therefore, do not know his fiance. So how did he "find out" about the blog? I don't know. I have suspicions, completely unfounded, but certainly not someone who would feel the need to be anonymous to N.

I have always attempted to preserve people's anonymity on here. I do censor what I write, but only to a certain degree. There are things that have passed between not only N and I, but others and myself, which I would never write about in such a public, albeit theoretically anonymous, forum. All of this made me wonder whether I should axe this blog? Move to a super-secret e-location? Keep posted, I suppose.

So the lesson of today for me is: You really shouldn't be friends with an ex.

And the lesson for everyone else: If you don't like what you are reading.... then Stop!

8 comments:

Rob said...

What kind of person would forward a link that they know will upset the recipient?

Blog because you can, blog because you want to. I've enjoyed reading and hope there will be more.

On a much more shallow note more in keeping with my style, had you decided on a gift?

Anonymous said...

What a bl**dy tosser N is, no wonder you REJECTED HIM and his sympathy sex. Who does he think he is that he can passively bully and threaten you about what YOU write in YOUR blog ... hasn't he heard of Free F**king Speech?? Tell him to F**K OFF.

It seems like he deserves his narrow-minded, insecure, stuck-up little twat of a fiance. Maybe they should re-consider their desire to get married as clearly they haven't matured enough to know that each person comes to a relationship with a "history" ..... and they obviously can't accept that N had a history with you and YOU choose to anonymously write about it.... Get a f**king life N and his fiance.

May they enjoy a twisted, bigotted life together, bound up in their own insecurities about each other and their relationship.

AND as for the petty-minded dick who forwarded the link ..... take a minute to reflect on your own insecurities .... does it make you feel better now that you've caused a f**king furore.

Anonymous said...

What a bl**dy tosser N is, no wonder you REJECTED HIM and his sympathy sex. Who does he think he is that he can passively bully and threaten you about what YOU write in YOUR blog ... hasn't he heard of Free F**king Speech?? Tell him to F**K OFF.

It seems like he deserves his narrow-minded, insecure, stuck-up little twat of a fiance. Maybe they should re-consider their desire to get married as clearly they haven't matured

Cath said...

Thanks for the support rob and Anon - although I will probably refrain from passing on your thoughts to them.... eek! LOL.

As for the gift. I hadn't decided on a gift - and now I don't need to it seems.

GiggleWorthy said...

Wow - thats really harsh!

He isn't much of a friend and she needs to get a grip!

Anonymous said...

Hang on a minute. Whoever sent the link is malicious, absolutely, and N obviously has some wobbly morals, but there was a fair level of vindictiveness in your original piece. You mention he tried to sleep with you when seeing a girlfriend (assuming it is her) and you imply that she only has him because you rejected his proposals. Quite frankly I wouldn't want you at my celebration either. Not because of what you did, but because of a) what it implies and b) the fact that you flaunt it.

Of course write what you want, that is what blogging is all about, but don't act surprised at the consequences. That is how I read N's comment, not as bullying.

Dollop said...

Blog about everything and anything but sort out the IRL crap IRL.

Or shoot them, whichever is less messy.

Donna said...

How awful. I'm not sure I could face them... how humiliating. I have to agree with Anonymous though - N does sound like a bit of a tosser.

As for the person who forwarded it on - let em burn.