"I have a theory..."
Since my shock dumping a few days ago, I have had the great fortune of many friends offering whatever comfort they are able. The therapeutic effect of a phone call from those who care is not take for granted. As the tears dried, quite a few theories have been proposed from friends.
Theory #1: He is a gutless cad, who doesn't realise what he has given up. This is, of course, the favoured theory of the moment. Nothing like a little bit of blatant bagging to falsely prop up my ego.
Theory #2: You are choosing the wrong type of man. We need to vet all your choices in future. Another interesting theory for its lack of realism. Nice thought nonetheless of having prospective suitors in an interview type panel with PSD, S and L7. Personally, I don't know if I would wish the grilling that they would get on my worst enemy. Further, I don't really know if I "choose" the wrong type of man. This boy was all sorts of good, until he decided he didn't like me any more. How do you know that in advance?
Theory #3: You need to stop basing your sense of self-esteem on whether or not a man likes you. Uh huh. A given I grant you. But this one seems like telling me how to stop breathing. My role models in my family seem to have always drawn their esteem from the men, or lack thereof, of men in their lives. Some serious issues to surmount in this theory.
Theory #4: You seem to choose men who fall in and out of lust quickly. Hmmmm, maybe. But how does one screen for this? Maybe I interest them quickly, and then bore them just as quickly? Anything is possible.
Theory #5: He is an idiot, you are lovely and someone will eventually come along. This is the most common theory proposed, but possibly the one with the least backing. Who says that someone will eventually come along? Why shouldn't I be one of those women who ends up alone, with a lot of cats, and the quirky sense of humour? Eerie thought to think that I could have a hell of a lot of years ahead of me all alone, peppered occasionally by some meaningless sex with disinterested men.
Overall, the theories all come down to one thing. In all my attempted and failed relationships, the one common denominator is me. As my ex-husband so eloquently put it as he was leaving me, "It's not me, it is you."
The therapist's appointment has been made.