Thursday, June 15, 2006

Where I prove yet again to be high maintenance...

Following on from my last entry pertaining to my state of pubic hairy-ness, I am happy to report that I have seen to the topiary and am now sporting my usual Brazillian-esque stylings. But I am bothered by their state.

I have been going to the same waxing girl for some time now, although I will stress that I have no particular affinity for her work or the rapport we have. There is little happy banter, which would certainly make the process somewhat less clinical, but maybe that is just me that desires a "connection" with someone intimate with my nether regions.

The issue with my pubic mound surrounds their symmetry. My preferred state of my parts is not completely de-nuded, but with all but the token landing strip removed. That said, it is a given that the landing strip is to be located centrally. It is also a given, I think, that the landing strip would line up with one's anatomy. Putting it bluntly, wouldn't one assume that if one were to extend an imaginary line from the line of one's labia superiorly, that that line would bisect the remaining hairs? Surely, this is not difficult geometry to manage.

But it seems that it is either too difficult, or my vadge is askew. Looking at my coiffed thatch, it definitely seems to veer left-ward - which bothers me greatly. Am I crooked? Or is her eye-sight flawed? So now I am contemplating, prior to my next waxing visit, making some marks on my skin, landmarks if you will, to help the waxing mistress in lining up the lay of the land. I am starting to feel like a theodolite and flags are going to be required for future pubic topiary work!

6 comments:

Occidentally said...

Maybe it's the angle you're looking from. How does it look in a picture or in the mirror?

Bruce said...

Perhaps it looks straighter when you are in a horizontal position (as I assume you were at the time of denudement).

Perhaps you should get a plumb bob next time and mark a chalk line on the desired angle.

Occidentally said...

I think that in your next life, should you happen to come back as a porno star, your name should be Vadge Askew (tho actually it seems a rather masculine sounding name).

Armagnac Esq. said...

ONe of many risks with the landing strip.

What about a tiffany box?

You don't know what a tiffany box is? That's for me to know and you to find out at the next grog blog!

Well, it's probably only a google click away in truth...

On a personal level, I quite like traditional down home hair pie, and i'll add that anyone getting a full brazillian at the moment would be rather unpatriotic.

Rob said...

(with fingers in ears) la, la, la, la, la, la.........

Designs on Life said...

I am obsessive about hair removal, I couldn't bear not to shave my armpits / legs / pubes EVERY DAY.

Without fail.

I'm bald down below, and I couldn't go back to having hair.