"You know, it's hard, Sometimes i feel like going down"

Bond continues to be a constant presence in my life, albeit by phone. Amazingly, I seem to be handling my petty jealousies, which often pervaded previous relationships. The fact that he is so far away, is almost ludicrous that I should trust him more than a man that I may have had in my own home. But trust him I do.

Many people find it difficult to believe that I trust him so much and seem so ok with his visits to strip clubs. After my own personal visit to one of these clubs with him, it almost seems comforting knowing where he is going. More often than not on his trips to "our" club, he is confronted by my dancer, who always asks after me. So unlike many men, he goes to a strip club and is reminded of his pining girl at home by one of the lovely ladies there meant to be taking his mind off me! Frequently he has either rung, or sms'd me, from said strip club, since being there reminds him of our lovely night there. I don't think one could get a better situation than that.

This past weekend he was on an outing with a young boy (ok, 24, but young to me), imbibing much Vodka and carousing amongst strippers and other charming locals. Through the course of the evening, a lap dance was apparently purchased for Bond. As you can imagine, I am sure he pushed through his obvious distaste and suffered in silence. But apparently, the young lady tried her best with all her charms (enhanced and otherwise) to get a "rise" out of my Bond*. She was quite determined, and was disappointed when she didn't succeed.

Now, I trust Bond. But I do find it difficult to believe that a writhing near naked woman, who I am sure was not unattractive, would not elicit some sort of erectile response from a sex-starved man such as Bond. As much as I might be a *little* jealous of a strange woman all over my man, I could understand the attractions and would expect him to "get a reaction" - unless of course, his plumbing has all gone to pot in the past few months!?! But he assured me, that there was indeed no reaction. I queried as to how he was able to maintain such composure in light of obvious delights. His answer came in two parts. Firstly, apparently, he is well controlled. Secondly, he said he was thinking of me.

Thinking of me.

And he was flaccid.

Perhaps he meant this another way. Please let it be meant another way!




*No, I am not being euphemistic.