So it is now three, count them people, three weeks until I leave to see Bond. And I am shitting myself in many and varied ways. I have some work (private, not my real job) that is causing me major headaches and issues. My normal work is boring and I really can't be bothered to be there. The Tap Show is done for the year, which is my marker point for the end of the year.
Mostly I just feel tired. Tired of worrying about my trip - still lots of unfinalized details. Tired of working and not feeling satisfied. Tired of stressing about Bond and his level of ambivalence or emotion. Tired of feeling tired.
The first question that people ask me in relation to my trip is, "Are you excited about seeing him?". No shit, of course, I am excited, and a myriad of other emotions as well. But the very next question that seems to roll of the tongue is, "So what are you going to do if it doesn't work out?". Seriously. Not helping people. Realistically, what am I going to do if that should happen? Come home, cry a lot, not be happy for a little while, and then move on. But what do I really want to do? Sadly, revisit No 26.