Monday, November 20, 2006

No idea!

So it is now three, count them people, three weeks until I leave to see Bond. And I am shitting myself in many and varied ways. I have some work (private, not my real job) that is causing me major headaches and issues. My normal work is boring and I really can't be bothered to be there. The Tap Show is done for the year, which is my marker point for the end of the year.

Mostly I just feel tired. Tired of worrying about my trip - still lots of unfinalized details. Tired of working and not feeling satisfied. Tired of stressing about Bond and his level of ambivalence or emotion. Tired of feeling tired.

The first question that people ask me in relation to my trip is, "Are you excited about seeing him?". No shit, of course, I am excited, and a myriad of other emotions as well. But the very next question that seems to roll of the tongue is, "So what are you going to do if it doesn't work out?". Seriously. Not helping people. Realistically, what am I going to do if that should happen? Come home, cry a lot, not be happy for a little while, and then move on. But what do I really want to do? Sadly, revisit No 26.


Anonymous said...

Dammit girl,
you try that and
a. I'll never talk to you again, and
b. Whats wrong with 88 ;)

kiki said...

28 - aren't you in love with Bond?
if you're not than this is all a lot of effort / work, especially if he isn't showing it all back

Anonymous said...

Hang on Kiki, we shouldn't jump to conclusions that "he isn't showing it all back" .... he rings at least every couple days (if not more regularly) - if he wasn't interested he wouldn't do that ... plus he's changed jobs and now moves between two states (not that easy I wouldn't imagine); it's the end of the year and almost the entire population is tired (and we don't regularly drive between two states); he has family commitments he has to try and manage over the festive season (I'm sure we can all relate to that) ... dammit he booked a surprise holiday for them to go to the Bahamas .... that doesn't seem to spell "he isn't showing it" ... maybe he's showing it in a male-kinda-way .... IN ACTIONS!

Miss C - I'm not even going to comment on No 28!