"I can't stand up for falling down"
I have never pretended that I am glamorous or elegant. I think my potty mouth usually dispels any mystery there. I am capable of being quite adept on my feet when there is music playing (evidence my attempts at tap and other dancing), but I really don't possess great hand/eye coordination. I nearly always wear shoes with some sort of significant heel, which takes some level of skill to master. Many years of practice has meant that I am enviable in heels, and Subtle admittedly likes the swagger that a heel adds to one's walk.
But generally I consider myself a little clutzy. Although I have no great history of self-inflicted wounds, as in broken bones and the like, my clutziness was proven two weeks ago when I managed to fall down some stairs and sprain my ankle*. In bare feet. With no alcohol. I have been trying to find ways to dramatize the story - at the very least to make it sound less pathetic. I have been asked was I drinking heavily? No. I was also asked what sort of activity was I undertaking - wild and exotic dancing? None - just walking. I also have tried telling people that it wasn't my fault - Subtle pushed me down the stairs, but really it is more believable that I am just clumsy (and he wasn't home at the time anyway - but no matter).
The irony of the situation is that as I was walking down the stairs, I was cuddling Isabella, reassuring her that everything was ok**. The words "Mummy wouldn't let anything ever happen to you" were barely out of my mouth when I collapsed in a screaming bundle, almost squashing Isabella into the bargain. She ran for safe cover from my weeping and moaning, while I had to hop to the phone to tell Subtle I had hurt myself.
Clearly I need to not only work on my personal balance, but also train the cat to autodial for assistance. I am now hobbling, and out of tap action for a few weeks. I hope that regular programming will resume shortly! To add insult to injury, I am reduced to wearing flat open shoes to work. Oh for shame....
* My sprain is apparently "quite bad" with a full tear of a ligment, some sexy bruising from my toes to my calf and some quite stunning swelling.
**We were staying in another house with a large, sort of dumb (but well-meaning), dog at the time.