Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Neighbours, Everybody needs good neighbours

I don't think I am what would call a bad neighbour. I am not really bad, in so far as you don't have to worry about me playing the stereo loud at 3am, or for trashing the place. But I don't seem to bond with my neighbours.

In no place I have ever lived in did I become pal-ly with the neighbours. It would be nice to have neighbours that would watch out for you, collect mail if you are away - that sort of thing. The closest I have ever gotten is when my ex-husband absented himself from my life, I decided to go and talk to the one neighbour we had, so she would know not to expect to see him around - and if she did, well, it was a bad thing. We had a lovely chat - really quite a nice lady. But then I moved, and I was back at square one.

Living in big apartment blocks is not necessarily conducive to becoming buddies with ones co-habitators, but I think it is really something to do with me. I try to say hello, or to deliver a welcoming nod in their direction. But rarely does it go well. The two sets of neighbours I did manage to meet and even converse with, quickly ended with them moving out about a month or two after meeting me.

It is only recently with Subtle now living with me that we may have happened upon on a reason that the neighbours don't talk to me.


More specifically, noisy sex.

Of course, I am referring to a rather squeaky bed frame that I seem to own. But during an occasion of an intimate nature the other day, there began to be comments outside our bedroom window that may have been aimed at us. Or me. Not sure at this point.

I have often joked about some people who lived upstairs from N and I who had, what we called, "Nazi Sex". Their sexual routine involved the opening and closing of windows and blinds, a lot of "Heil" and then vigorous love-making noises. Oh, we laughed. But now I fear that I am the brunt of many jokes. Oh dear.

To make things a little more awkward, Subtle and I are moving to his parents house to house-sit for the next two weeks whilst they are on holidays. His father has already made some comment about "use the bed as you wish", when giving us the low-down on the house. Perhaps it would not be good for them to return from holidays to traumatised neighbours. His family lives in deepest, darkest Suburbia - perhaps a bit of traumatising them with squeaky bed is needed! Either that or the skinny dipping that Subtle has suggested.


Mr Subtle said...

Have you never wondered why the houses and so large? Or why the properties are so wide? Or each house is so far away from each other?

You do know that the 'burbs are where the naughtiest, dirtiest, downright funky sex is had, right?


elena said...

Haha that's hilarious, I definately wonder if my neighbors have ever heard us (well me) I live in a high-end apartment building with a lot of seniors haha

kiki said...

was it not slightly awkward when his dad said you could have as much sex in his house as you like?

Cath said...

And see Subtle... I didn't want to think about your parents having dirty, funky sex....

Elena - your neighbours have heard you. And are talking about you. Guaranteed.

Kiki - Awkward is not the word. Thankfully I was not there - Subtle had to have this chat with his father....!