What dreams may come
Subtle and I have a bit of a routine going. Every morning, more often than not, we compare the dreams we had overnight. I dream a lot, but rarely remember them to much detail. He dreams a lot, and remembers them quite well. Usually, when describing our dreams, they start off with "I had a weird dream last night...".
For example, last night I dreamed I was working in a McDonald's type store, and was stressed because I didn't know what went on a Big Mac. In my dream I was desperately trying to remember the stupid saying that starts with "Two all meat patties...". I have never known it, and I never eat McDonald's*, so I had no knowledge to draw on. After my stint in McDonald's, my dream moved on trying to by some Russian chocolate in Aldi. (Russian chocolate is actually fantastic.) Two nights before this I dreamed I was remarrying my ex-husband.
See, they are all pretty strange and weird. When I was much younger, one dream I had, which I can still remember vividly to this day involved me teaching a class in a night school. The lights went out, and when they came back on again, I was on the ground in an inch of blood. There was blood and gore everywhere, and brain tissue on the blackboard. Oh yeah - that doesn't scream bizarre childhood does it?
But I must admit that my best, and strangest, dream to date is one from few weeks ago. I dreamed that I gave birth. I gave birth to puppies. Six, in fact. Six sweet little smooth-skinned angel faced puppies. I was frantic, in my dream, that I did not possess six nipples to feed my progeny. So spent some time constructing an elaborate feeding mechanism for my babies. Puppies. Not even kittens, since I am quite predisposed to the feline fur-child.
So now when Subtle says to me "I had a weird dream last night". I respond with "Did you give birth to puppies?". Unless he can compete with that, he is not even in the same competition.
*Drunk I have been known to eat a sundae. The last time I ate a whole burger by myself was in 2002 - in Poland. I don't think that this counts!