Thursday, June 17, 2010
I won't even start to apologise for the time between posts. You will just nod and think, sure sure, and I will be grasping at straws.
I haven't blogged for a variety of reasons. Mostly due to not having anything to say. How is this possible you may ask? But, well, when the only things that have been going on in my head are baby/pregnancy related, I can well imagine that that topic will grow thin very quickly for many of you reading.
So here I am at 26 weeks pregnant. When I am sitting down, I look down, and feel like I am bloated after a big meal. But when I look in the mirror, oh god. There is definitely something going on down there. Subtle assures me that all looks well, and he just looks at my unchanging, lovely, visage. Sometimes a suck-up is appropriate. And appreciated.
I have various levels of stress going on at different times. Mostly, there is stress about well, this THING coming and what I shall do! Being responsible for it and all that. I do keep telling myself that far stupider people than me have raised healthy happy children, surely we can manage. Secondly there is stress over finances. With 12 weeks until arrival (I get the fun of going early), the money in the bank is starting to look like all their will be, and I am trying to work out how to manage paying all the bills, having some time off and not going insane. The latter looks like it might go down the list of priorities.
But the one thing that gives me stress, which shouldn't, is my mother. How do you deal with a mother who is projecting her wants from her own birthing experiences onto me? Plus add in the fact that my mother does have a plethora of issues, prior to this pregnancy. My mother has been waiting since, oh, my first period at the age of 12, for a grandchild. 27 years. And boy, don't I feel that pressure. She would like to be in the birthing suite, and views getting to see the baby any more than 15 mins after its arrival, as being their "too late". But she asks about when "I" would like her there, and then ignores my requests. I could perhaps say, "Sure, you can be there", and then have Subtle and the nursing staff restrict her access. Then at least I wouldn't be the bad guy?
We are off tonight to visit my family and friends interstate, so I daresay there will be more venting over the weekend that the ever patient Subtle will have to wade through. Until later, I will provide reports and casualty counts from the weekend.