The new beau, B, is proving to be the dating sensation of the new millennia. As time goes by (yes, just over two weeks now - looking long term compared to recent history), he is just getting better and better. But of course, as time goes by, I have to keep suppressing my insecurities. I am a little worried that he will find out that I am really not this self-assured and confident - and the true self will come forth. Perhaps we are both putting on a small show. Showing off our best side, our wittiest repartee, our most charming demeanour. What happens when we stop trying to impress each other anymore? Oh that's right - that's called marriage. [Sorry, the cynic in me couldn't resist that one.]
I am currently reading my way through the entire Alain de Botton collection. I must admit to being hesitant at first - when something like a modern philosopher achieves a modicum of commercial success, I poo-poo it as being mere pap that is pandering to the masses. So, it comes as a great surprise to myself to find that I am enjoying his work immensely. The book that I am currently making my way through is "On Love", which is philosophical telling of the process of falling in love and how the relationship develops. It is curious being in that stage in life and reading about it at the same time. Much of what he has written rings very true for me, but none more so (and in light of the previous paragraph) than the following quote,
Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love opting that we will not find in the other what we know is in ourselves - all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and brute stupidity.
Here's hoping that I neither find nor reveal many flaws in B.