Monday, August 30, 2004

Reflections....

For the lack of any salacious gossip in my current love-life, I thought I would reflect on beaus of old for a moment, as they prove far more entertaining.

I have been contemplating of late the curiosity that is "a good shag". There is the comment that has been said before that for men, any blow-job is a good blow-job. But what, pray tell, makes one stand out amongst all others as being more fabulous? Surely any orgasm achieved rates pretty well? Speaking as a woman (as I can by virtue of my chromosomes), not all sex is good sex. And sometimes a nice cup of tea is far more preferable.

I would often comment that my dear ex, N, was a "dud root". To his face. He knew it, I knew it. I could list the ways in which he could improve to enhance my enjoyment - but that would be just cruel. It is not like I didn't tell him what he needed to do to help things along a little - he just seemed uninterested - now there is something that really makes a woman feel desired!

But what was probably the most outstanding "dud root" of my life was S. I saw him a few years ago when I was going through my "dating a much older, wealthy man so I could feel girlish and delicate" phase. A short-lived phase I can tell you. It occurred to me about this time that chronological age means little - he was 17 years older than me and was probably the most immature man I have ever dated. But I digress.

All the warning signs were there for me, but I chose to ignore them. Prior to any intimacy, he related to me how he had asked an ex of his whether she found him "big enough". I thought it a curious enquiry, but really hoped that the fact that he had an expensive sports car was in no way compensatory. Apparently her response to the question was, "You are fine." Which I think in anyone's language says that you are completely inadequate for my needs. Suffice to say, not long after hearing this story, I was able to answer the question for myself. (Needless to say I don't date men with nice cars anymore!).

But I would not have you think that size is required to ensure a good time. (Of course, it doesn't hurt!). What is compulsory is a relaxed attitude, a willingness to explore and be explored, nimble tongue, combination of delicate and forceful fingers (as the occasion demands) and good stamina.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not quite true: excessive teeth involvement makes for a very bad blow-job...

Anonymous said...

Girl your harh! But funny

2 Quests.

How'd he take you tell'n him he was shit in the sack

2. Is the latest shag any better

Cath said...

A couple of things....

(i) Excellent point about teeth useage. I find that the information that was given on "Queer as Folk" in their most reason season to Debbie on how to give a good blow job should be essential viewing for anyone wanting to hone their skills. (Side point: I find that Diet Coke is the one beverage to clear the mouth of that funky spunky after-taste very effectively.)

(ii) N took the news of being a dud root far too well. He nodded agreement and felt relieved that he didnt have to pretend anymore to anyone - least of all me.

(iii) As for the current beau...... Still exploring the territory there and will keep my opinions to myself for the time being!

Anonymous said...

I know that line and used it often in the end its denial Hes crap but you just dont want to admit it to yourself yet while with him. you know Im right

Anonymous said...

I agree Anonymous 15:39 .... you just don't wanna admit it yet! wait 'til it's over, then we'll hear about how bad it is .... no earth moving here my friends, oh, no, boring.