Rules of Engagement

Over dinner last weekend with PSD and some of his delightful friends, we began discussing "fuck buddies". There are people who really don't like this particular term, although none amongst us could think of an apt alternative. But no matter what you should term it, some of us have certain "friends" that we call upon when needs are to be met.

I began regaling the qualities that I believe a good fuck buddy (FB) should have. They should be someone that you trust. They should also be someone you like, but definitely not someone that you want to have a relationship with. And of course, there has to be some sort of mutual physical and sexual attraction. There were nods of agreement all round the table.

Of course, I spouted all this, whilst forgetting that one of the lovely gentlemen present was a former "buddy" of PSD. And the "buddy" was there with his new love. Woops.

But, stepping around this rather sticky social situation, I have been thinking about a couple of the no-no's of the fuck buddy dynamic. So, here is my very incomplete list;
(i) Allowed words used by FB's: Fuck, Slut, Dirty, Fantastic, Sexy. Banned words for FB's: Make Love, Gorgeous, Sweetheart.
(ii) FB's are allowed, and certainly encouraged, to make some idle chit-chat. But don't expect a full emotional exploration.
(iii) FB's shouldn't stay overnight. There is no obligatory post-coital cuddle time.
(iv) Although women can often have difficulty separating sexual encounters from emotional attachments - this is of paramount importance. If you can't separate the two: DO NOT ENGAGE A FB!
(v) Preparation is appreciated: at the very least - take a shower first!
(vi) Don't try and set your fuck buddy up with a friend for a date. You lose a FB, and gain a potentially awkward social situation.

Additions to the list?