Tuesday, March 21, 2006

In want of a distraction

Apparently many people have this impression that I am quite confident. I can sort of see where they get this impression from. I can talk without nerves in front of people. I am very open in what I divulge to people, and on occasion, can project a sense of self that may show a certain level of comfort with myself.

And sometimes I really believe that I am as confident as I might give the impression of being. But surely everyone knows that it is a well-crafted cover-up.

Here I am, a couple of days after realising I think I have a new boyfriend, constantly imbued with a sense of paranoia. Why does he seem to like me? He is SO hot (to me anyway), what does he see in me? I know I can be funny and interesting, but since when was that a reason to want to shag someone silly?

It is now that I realise what I "do wrong" in relationships. Clingy-ness starts to creep in. Doubt tip-toes around every corner. Worries and insecurities try to surface. I crave distractions to keep me away from excessive texting and emails. Suggestions anyone?

4 comments:

Miss Natalie said...

Sometimes I just know I'm going for an oscar winning performance, I'm the "real me" around very few people.

Rob said...

You know I favour the "negative reinforcement" technique, replacing negative self-talk with some form of head/desk action. Of course, there are much less painful ways of getting a "culture of doubt" out. Hey, that rhymes, yay for me.

Donna said...

I think everybody feels like that when they meet someone new. It's not really anything to do with insecurity or lack of confidence, it's to do with being human!

Donna
x

ivan said...

Hi Cath,
Funny really, (for the detached viewer). I used your Jane Austen link a while ago and think that it's pretty good on this topic. I.e. not being continually absorbed in the poor sod - it's bound to drive him away. (easy to say from here)

Cheers