Tuesday, March 21, 2006

In want of a distraction

Apparently many people have this impression that I am quite confident. I can sort of see where they get this impression from. I can talk without nerves in front of people. I am very open in what I divulge to people, and on occasion, can project a sense of self that may show a certain level of comfort with myself.

And sometimes I really believe that I am as confident as I might give the impression of being. But surely everyone knows that it is a well-crafted cover-up.

Here I am, a couple of days after realising I think I have a new boyfriend, constantly imbued with a sense of paranoia. Why does he seem to like me? He is SO hot (to me anyway), what does he see in me? I know I can be funny and interesting, but since when was that a reason to want to shag someone silly?

It is now that I realise what I "do wrong" in relationships. Clingy-ness starts to creep in. Doubt tip-toes around every corner. Worries and insecurities try to surface. I crave distractions to keep me away from excessive texting and emails. Suggestions anyone?


Miss Natalie said...

Sometimes I just know I'm going for an oscar winning performance, I'm the "real me" around very few people.

Rob said...

You know I favour the "negative reinforcement" technique, replacing negative self-talk with some form of head/desk action. Of course, there are much less painful ways of getting a "culture of doubt" out. Hey, that rhymes, yay for me.

Donna said...

I think everybody feels like that when they meet someone new. It's not really anything to do with insecurity or lack of confidence, it's to do with being human!


ivan said...

Hi Cath,
Funny really, (for the detached viewer). I used your Jane Austen link a while ago and think that it's pretty good on this topic. I.e. not being continually absorbed in the poor sod - it's bound to drive him away. (easy to say from here)