Some things just aren't worth contemplating

A week ago my mother announced that she was going to be in town for the weekend - she had been invited down for a conference. I thought it would be lovely to catch up with her for dinner and so forth, given it was her birthday last week, and I had yet to come good with some sort of birthday gift.

So, tonight I picked up Mum from her hotel, following her cocktail soiree to take her to a Tapas place recommended by Miss T in St Kilda. My only concern at the beginning of this evening was the success of getting a park around that area. I need not have worried.

We made our way into the small cafe, were seated and as per usual, she passed the menus to me to decide on behalf what she would like to eat. I ordered myself wine, mum stuck to water, and a delightful selection of dishes were presented to us. I had my back to the main part of the restaurant and was completely ignorant as to what was going on behind me. Near the end of our meal, this rather gorgeous waiter approaches our table, and insists that he would like to buy my mother a glass of wine. As my mother is the last of the two pot screamers, she declined happily. After he walked away, I commented on how bizarre that was, and she said, "Oh, no, he has been looking at me all night."

As we were making our departure, I exited awaiting for my mother to join me, where she declared that he had winked at her as she left. It probably wouldn't have bothered me if the man in question was somewhat approaching my mother's age, but he was possibly younger than me. Mum laughed and said, "Maybe he likes an old body." Thinking about your parents having sex is bad enough, but imagining hot men wanting your mother for illicit deeds is beyond the pale.

But thankfully, on the way home, I was able to salvage some of my dignity. Driving along St Kilda Rd, I was waved at by a delightful young thing from the back of a 4WD. I, politely, waved back. I was then presented through his window with his firm buttocks on display.

Sad when being mooned by a drunk can be the thing that makes you feel better!